Its begining to look a lot like Christmas

I don't think this very unusual for a 40-something without children, but Christmas doesn't mean as much to me as it did when I was 10.

Not the most startling declaration, I agree. The thing with Christmas when you've already had 40 of them (I don't really remember the first 3) is that this time of year seems to just come round so often. As the christmas lights go up in city centres (earlier and earlier, but thats a cheap shot at the commercialism of Christmas which isn't my main point here) I usually shrug them off and promise myself to wait a bit longer.

When the work Christmas events parties start and the Christmas cards start to arrive then I have to conclude that '"Its begining to look a lot like Christmas" - Which is not to say I don't want invitations or cards. Its always good to be remembered after all.

I spend Christmas Day with my family and I enjoy that very much too. I enjoy their company at other times of the year too, so that isn't specifically Christmassy, but as a day, I enjoy Christmas day. I even like roast turkey now (which I didn't when I LOVED christmas as a kid). Present giving and receiving in our family is made easier by the fact that we are all intrepid readers. So its books all round.

A universal problem with Christmas, which I don't feel so badly but I can see in many others, is the overbearing pressure to feel happy. Now I feel happy, or at least not too unhappy, but people close to me are facing unavoidable 'issues' that are going to change the future. The need to celebrate isn't most naturally at the top of our thoughts.

My personal reasons for indifference this year is a feeling of not DESERVING a celebration. Christmas comes round every year whether I've wasted the whole year pulling fluff from my navel, or if I've worked hard enough for three promotions, run an organisation to save the whale or, as is my special ambition, finish two fantastic new publishable novels.

I've done none of those things - I've climbed few more Wainwright fells, read a few novels (one of which was outstanding) and, I hope, been good company to my friends some of the time.

But Christmas comes anyway.

(Oh, it may be true that it would mean more if I let Jesus into my life, but that isn't going to happen)

There is one song that does get close my current Christmas philosophy, and the strange thing is I've known the song for years but last year I was 'awakened' to the words.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O_fCs5Buwg&NR=1

Sometimes the words might seem cynical but I think they are spot on about how I feel about Christmas and the memories of how I have experienced Christmas over the years. Most of all I love the turn on the usual christmas card message.. its all very well being Merry at Christmas and Happy in the New Year.. but a Hopeful Christmas? And Brave New Year? And a wish that your road be clear. This means Christmas is just part of the way forward, not an excuse to stop time and wear a paper hat.

So thats why my wish for all my (probably non existent readers) is for your Christmas to be Hopeful and your New Year Brave.


(Lake rather spoils that video by wishing Merry Christmas at the End! But in the other versions I found he looks too young to have the world weary view of the song!)